Category: Customer Emails

I like to think that Grooby has the best customer service of any adult site, I’m fairly confident in that as I pick up selections from our customer service desk myself and answer them … but we’re not going to be pushed over, or stolen from, so when this piece of work emailed me this morning;

“Refund me please I didn’t mean to buy membership. Thanks.”

I had just the response;

“Can you clarify what you mean by ‘I didn’t mean to buy membership’ ?
While viewing the tour, did your hand accidentally slip to the join button, where it … Read More

“I’M a bbm and I don’t have any clue as to where I belong yet. I’m a big teddy bear that is very sexual and I want to experience all of the avenues eventually. I want to observe TS ladies doing what they do on set. I actually have never been penetrated voluntarily but I play with toys often so. Ready. I have only given throat and I’m pretty good I think. I want to be a fluffer. I’ve never been made up or wore lingerie but I’m game. I want you to help me in my quest secretly to … Read More

I occasionally get emails from want to be script writers who usually they’re the next greatest thing, and that there are loads of paying jobs as script writers in porn (in my experience, the director usually works on their own scripts with an editor).    The samples they send are usually pretty bland and contrived and it’s more that they just want to ‘work in’ porn, rather than have any real talent.

Then there was this rainy Thursday morning when I was sent this proposal (names removed);

“Hello Grooby.com,
We are ______________   and ______________  and we are professional porn writers with … Read More

So this came in today..

“Hello. I am a psychologist from South Africa. I am sending this to any porn company I can find, because I think reading it might slightly make the world a better place. My message is very simple, I don’t want to waste your time so let me get started!

I would ask you to stop perpetuating the stereotype of everyone having “big penis”. It is something that affects many young men after hundreds and hundreds of hours watching porn. In a world where self confidence is plummeting and mental conditions are on the rise, even … Read More

Yeah, yeah, could be worse – I could be cleaning out a jack shack for a living, but I get these sorts of emails a few times a week and I just wonder, “What are you thinking?” – You are applying for a model job and sending only this … how could I make a decision based on these? Oh, yeah, just seen the last photo, decision made!

“I’m interested in becoming a tg/cd model. Attached are a few photos. I’m 22 hispanic 5 foot 10 inches 135 pounds 7 1/2 inch penis”

… Read More

This is one of the better ones:

EMAIL 1: 3.02pm

“The world of shemales is it true or is it false? My name is Carlos xxxxxxxxxxxx and I am from Thomaston, Georgia. My age is 21, and I have no nude pictures. Model experiences I was looking at one time because some much interest because of the spirits around me. I really was trying to find it out, and I am in need of a job because of much place I have gave to you all and with drugs. I would like to be a male model if anything could … Read More

Sorry folks, I’ve been lax on this blog for too long – due to personal shit (moved house and country, increased the brood and more!) but I’m going to keep onto it, mainly because the comedy just keeps coming.

Life and times, in the porn business.
“Hello i hope that i am not waisting your time.I am a 55yo man i live in Bangor Maine xxxx.wanting to know if you do anything with overweight men 300+lbs. i realy love being played with by pre-op girls i love being the bottom. i am pretty much open for most anything.i have no … Read More

We’re always looking for models and of course, we’re all different and I respect that … I’m amazed at some people who would actually think that people would pay to see their body/face/hygiene level on a photo shoot and the audacity to send in their photos but try to keep it polite and turn them down, without being insulting but this one really pissed me off.  The guy was in shape … but what a fucker.  Wants us to pay him (or use him for free) without showing his face so his “wife and kids” wouldn’t find out AND  then … Read More